Unhealthy Relationships
There are many warning signs that a relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Think about your relationship…
Does your partner:
Humiliate you?
Embarrass or make fun of you in front of others?
Deny your feelings?
Criticize you and/or your accomplishments?
Act jealous and possessive?
Keep track of your whereabouts and call or text excessively?
Use intimidation to get what he/she wants?
Threaten to hurt you or physically shove, grab, punch, or kick you?
Throw things or yell to scare you?
Destroy your belongings?
Threaten suicide if you end the relationship?
Accuse you of cheating or sleeping around?
Isolate you from friends and family?
Do you:
Fear your partner?
Feel you are walking on eggshells?
Have to work hard to keep your partner happy?
Fear discussing certain topics because of the reaction of your partner?
Feel trapped by the relationship?
Fear being alone?
Worry you don’t deserve better?
Feel emotionally numb and helpless?
Types of Abuse
Verbal/Emotional
Verbal and emotional abuse can often be overlooked or minimized, especially if there isn’t physical violence. Nevertheless, emotional abuse is destructive and aims to chip away at your self-worth and independence. This abuse includes yelling, name-calling, gaslighting, blaming, and shaming. Emotional and verbal abuse are used to control and manipulate you into submission and to make you feel trapped in the relationship. The scars from emotional abuse are real and run deep.
Sexual
Sexual abuse can include forcing you to have sex when you don’t want to. Sex without consent is rape regardless of relationship status. Forcing you to engage in sexual acts that make you uncomfortable is also sexual abuse, as is forcing you to engage in prostitution.
Physical
Physical abuse includes any of the following: shoving, kicking, hair-pulling, choking, slapping, punching, or hitting you. It may also include biting, smothering, pinching, scratching, restraining, or shaking. Physical abuse also occurs when you are hurt and denied access to calling for help and/or from seeking medical attention for your injuries. Any touch not given in love, respect, or dignity is abuse.
Financial
Financial or economic abuse occurs when you have no access to money. Your abuser controls how the money is spent and makes you account for everything you spend. It can also include taking your money or paychecks from you or forcing you to quit your job.
If you answered yes to any of the questions above and/or you identify with experiencing different types of abuse, it’s likely you are in an unhealthy, abusive relationship. Please know that help is available. You are not alone and there are people waiting and willing to help you. You may contact a domestic violence agency in your area or the National Domestic Violence Hotline has help available 24/7. You can chat online at thehotline.org or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) to speak to an advocate.
